Diary, Journal
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I Tried My Best to Love You But I Must First Learn to Love Myself


Today has been tiring but interesting and I think I’m ready for it to be 2016 / I’ve cried so much and slept so little in the past few weeks / Haven’t done nearly as much reading as I thought I would in my downtime but I did read somewhere once that “If you get to sleep beside the person you love every night you are one lucky fuck” but I feel like I no longer have the capacity to make this person happy or contented / I got so upset today so I took a quick cold shower, fed my cats and went back to sleep / My heart’s heavy and light, I hate everything right now and I would like not to exist for a while please / I miss the ocean… I feel like spending most of days off in the park but I haven’t been able to do cos all I’ve done’s crying / I made a new “friend” who seems to be down for weird / wild adventures and with him I sometimes catch myself in a spontaneous laugh or remark and I wonder if I’d cringe later in bed for my recklessness and words I’d brazenly expressed but… I feel so at home right now and I really don’t know where else to go.

I am also very excited to pick up a new skill / hobby; hand stitching / embroidery!

This entry was posted in: Diary, Journal


HELLO, ANA JONESSY is a travel, festival and lifestyle blog by Ana Jonessy, a wanderlusting Sabahan in love with all that Southeast Asia and the world have to offer. I want to be engulfed by the beauty of the wilderness and magic and kindness.

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